Thursday, December 18, 2008

Sa Gitna ng Pagiisa

Sa likod ng mga luha
Nakatago ang tunay kong ndarama
Di mo man makita., di man marinig
Itong puso ko'y. ikaw padin ang pinipintig
Heto ako at nagiisa
Pilit nilalabanan., lungkot na nadarama
Habang nandito at umaasa
Na masabi mo ang mga salitang
"mahal din kita"
Pagod na ang puso ko
Sa pagsambit ng pangalan mo
Hindi mo rin namn naririnig
Kahit ano pa ang gawin ko
Dapat nga ba kitang layuan?
Iwan at kalimutan?
Alam kong mahirap ito
Ngunit dapat na kitang hayaan
Hindi ko na kaya pa
Pagod na ako sa pagluha
Dapat ko ng ihakbang papalayo
Itong aking mga paa..'
Alam kong mahirap..'
Alam kong masakit,,.'
Ngunit dapat kong tanggapin
Na di kita pagaari
Mahal kita
Ngunit mahal mo siya
Ano pang magagawa ko
Wala narin nmn diba?
Isang bagay n lamng
Ang gusto kong malaman mo
Ayoko na makitang
May luha sa mga mata moh
Hanggang dito na lamang siguro
Ang laban ng pag-ibig ko


Sunday, December 7, 2008

Letters From My Past

Lately this morning, I was fixing some things on my room. Then Ii accidentally saw my old note book. My old school notebook. Then I remember that it was the notebook that she used to borrow from me. I turn the pages until I reached the last leaf. As I turned at the last page
I saw the writings that you have made on it. You wrote my nickname MBON, you also write my full name twice. I also saw some erased writings on it. I knew you wrote that too. It was also my name if I'm not mistaken. My name with a sort of four letter word at the end that I can’t read clearly.

Then I stopped for a little while, for a tear to fell from my eyes and it landed on the pages of that notebook.
That writings really remind me of how good we used to be before. Of how you once cared for me. But now it’s all gone. I need to accept the fact that you’re only a memory now. A memory that brings joy and tears to my eyes.

After fixing my room, it took the notebook to our backyard. I burned it all the way through. Until it became ashes, ashes full of memories. How I wish that m feelings for you were also burned as the papers do. This time I need to fix things out. I need to heal this broken heart. The heart that used to love a girl that never loved him back..


Hear Me Out

Loving someone means taking a great risk.
Coz you can’t be sure that they can give you back

The love you have shown on them.

Always remember these thoughts.

"Some people are not meant to be in your life
no matter how you want them to be"

I’d like tell you I love you.
But all I can do is stay and cry in silence.
Suddenly I started to realize that my heart is suffering from dumbness.
I’m losing all the strength to move on and to forget.
Because I know it would be better
if I'll just walk away without any single word.
This heart is really torn apart and I can’t fight this feeling.
I’m holding on to nothing.
I don’t want you to see,
how this stupid heart starts breaking into pieces.
Sorry if I had love you,
I know you won’t feel the same way too
now it’s time to move on
its time to step behind,
and leave all those empty spaces
let this feeling from me unwind.
But before I go, I want you to remember that,

"For every tear that falls from your eyes,

Two falls from mine"


Wednesday, December 3, 2008


I know right from the start that you don't like me.
But being pretty close to you is enough for me.

If you can’t be mine,
can you please stay even just for a while?
It doesn't mean that I'm smiling,
my heart is not crying.
Its not because you can see me fighting
inside me I'm not dying.
For loving you is like a seeking star,
it’s impossible to reach you coz your too far.
But if you really are for me,
I know that love will find a way, no matter how it will be .
It was so hard to think that you will never be mine.
But it’s more painful to realize
that I knew it right from the start.
If you would give me a chance,
I‘ll tell the whole world how much I love you.
While knowing how loud I shout.
It’s just a crazy thing for you.
Just like what others tell
"saying I love you is also saying goodbye"
Knowing how hard I try,

This pain will never ever die.

Is it time to let go? Is it time to say my goodbyes?

Or is it the time for me, to let you hear how my heart cry?

I’m not letting you see tears fall again.

I’m not gonna show you how broken I am.

But this time I’ll try,

I’ll try to say goodbye.

This little farewell makes me wanna die.

But I aint got any choice to make things go right.

As much as I love you, I need to say goodbye.


Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Merry Christmas

Christmas another season of celebration and happiness. But for me, it’s just another season that reminds me of being alone because of the emptiness that’s filling me. If I could only hold the hands of time, and let it just stop even for a while. Just for a while.

I’m here, all alone. Looking at the stars as my skin feels the cold breeze that the cold season brings. I’m imagining that you were beside me, hugging me tight, giving me a warm feeling and whispering sweet words to my ears. How I wish that I could see you smiling this Christmas, even you're with him. This is one of my saddest christmas ever. I wish there would be someone to spend the lonely christmas with. Someone who can make me smile even just for this Christmas day. Someone who can wipe every tears that will fall down from this eyes. This christmas, I hope you are happy, I’m pretty sure that he's the only guy who can make you smile this christmas. If god would give me a wish, I would wish to forget about you even just for this coming christmas day. So I can enjoy it without any longing for someone, without any ache or pain inside my heart. Even if my heart and mind don't want your memories to be thrown away inside their spaces, this feeling really hurts, forgetting all your thoughts is nothing but a death trap.

I think it's gonna be unfair if I'll greet you on this way, but still